Hello. Wait, what I meant to say was “Hi”… or perhaps it was “What’s up?”. Maybe I should add some extra umph by turning everything into CAPSLOCK and adding an excessive number of exclamation marks?!!! I think the gist of what I’m attempting to say here is: Welcome to my brand new blog entitled The Natural Paradox!
Such as in real life, I have always had difficulties uttering that first hello and proclaiming to the world: “Here I am!” so I figure that this might be a good start. For me, beginnings have always been the most difficult… certainly, the ending is the easiest thing to imagine. You have a great idea, a story, an opinion, and you just can’t wait to get to that ultimate punchline which tells everyone: “This is it! I’ve arrived! Aren’t you excited?!”.
But the beginning, now that is another story altogether. I mean, you can’t just start with “Hello” or “Hi”. That’s boring, overdone, outdated. It’s just too simple! No, no, no… we need something snazzy and attention grabbing! But I guess that’s where things become even more complicated. How do you know exactly who will be excited by your greeting? I mean, if I just say “Hello”, I’ve just lost all street-cred to the academic world who is seething for some type of intellectual stimulation (this is assuming that I have not lost their attention already but uttering the words “Street-cred”). So what am I to do?
Well for starters, I think a good rant on the many excesses of “Salutations” is a nice place to start. What can I say, I’m nothing if not an excellent ranter. Add in some witty sarcasm and a few conveniently placed puns and you will find yourself at the core of what The Natural Paradox is truly all about.
So after all of this, you may be asking yourself: “What is the purpose of this blog and why in the world am I ever going to return?”. Well to be honest, I’m just finishing my undergrad as an English Major/History Minor at the University of Guelph and what else is a soon-to-be-unemployed-21-year-old-smart-alek supposed to be doing with his time? I know, I know, I could get a more “useful” degree and become a doctor or combat cancer. But in all honesty, I think I will stick with what I’m good at, which is the employment of an over-active imagination, mixed in with a way with words, and the know-it-how (or so I like to think) to write about whatever the heck I want (TV shows, movies, books, music, sex, alcohol, swearing, taboos, etc etc etc)!
The possibilities are so endless that a time of approximately 5 minutes has lapsed between the writing of the previous paragraph and this one because I’ve been lost in my mind! Why do I tell you this? So that hopefully the eventual imaginings of… well, of my imagination, will lead you to some sort of future amusement that may just keep you coming back for more.
So for now, I will simply leave you with a lovely little quote which I anticipate to describe the first few posts of this lovely little blog:
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams