Well folks, the day has finally arrived. My final day of classes for my Undergrad at Guelph. I will hold for applause…
Now that we have that out of the way, I think it is safe to say that there is one thing I have learned to hate with a passion after these 4 years: people with stupid questions. And of course, I know that Professor’s love to expound upon the old adage that “there are no stupid questions” and that you should “ask away” but in reality, there are such things as stupid questions!
Actually, maybe I should delve further into this… it’s not feasibly possible for an ‘inanimate’ question to possess intelligence (or a lack thereof). No, perhaps we should be using the term “there are no stupid questions, just stupid people“. Everything must be in context of course and when we consider the context of a question, we must inevitably trace its origins back to the highly under-evolved primate who uttered it.
How do you know if you are about to ask a stupid question? Well, I think that I have devised a suitable check-list to protect you from any such possibility.
1) Make sure that you are paying attention. If you ask a question to something that has already been explained or talked about, then chances are that you are a Redundant-Rachael and should get out. If you zone out and start your question with “I’m not sure if this has already been asked yet, but…” then chances are you need to zip-your-lip! You missed out, so pay attention! [__]
2) Be knowledgeable of your material. If you ask something super simple like “What is the capital of Spain?”, maybe you should take the time to note it and look it up on your own time (Google is very handy these days and it can help with things like this). [__]
3) Perhaps as an extension of 2, don’t ask personal questions! If you are in a classroom of 100 people and you have some vague and obscure question about nothing that pertains to the course, then keep it closed! You note it and then ask the person later on your own personal time (particularly if there is no research on said topic). [__]
4) Do not ask a question where every other word is interspersed with the word ‘like‘! “So, like, is there, like, a way to, like, figure out, like, how to, like…” LIKE OMG, SHUT UP! This isn’t the 90’s and you are an adult… like, learn to be one! You can have the most intelligent question in the world but when you use ‘like’ 8 or 9 times in that question, it automatically becomes a stupid (sounding) one. [__]
So there we have it folks! If you worry sometimes why the people behind you give an audible grown every time you put your hand up in class, then maybe it’s time to print out this check-list and bring it to class. If your question does not fall into one of these categories then feel free to ask your question! Should, at any point, you have to place a check in the little boxes provided, that means your question is irrelevant and you need to either wait until a more appropriate (and perhaps private) moment to ask it, or consult The Google.
You may make the rest of us look more intelligent but you’re still irritating.