Negative Fluctuations in the Friend Zone (ie. Don’t Be A Dick!)

Well hello again friends! It’s been so long… my how some of you have aged. It’s only been a month and yet you already look 80! Now, undoubtedly, if there are any blog-readers out there who are 80+, you will take that as a compliment… the rest of you? Well, we’ll just glance over that thinly-veiled insult.

Now, what is it that I wish to talk and/or rant about today? Well, me being the wonderful listener/amateur advice columnist that I am, I have noticed something that many people seem to ignore. What is that? Well, it’s what I would like to call: “Negative fluctuations in the friend zone”. Now, for those of you who do not possess as much of a word fetish as myself, this is simply when you either A) take advantage of your friends and abuse their constant kindness, or B) have a friend or friends who consistently and constantly take advantage of your own kindness.

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[Preach on crazy bird, preach on.]

Why do I bring this up? Well, often times, we notice this happening to other people… as a guy who has many girlfriends (I mean of the plutonic-kind you religious heterophiles) I hear all the tales of bad friends who like to take advantage. You know, the kind who always ask for something and never return the favour or who are nice to you one minute and super mean the next. The kind of friend whose stench of negativity clings to you worse than the chlorine of a hotel swimming pool (and for those of you who don’t understand that metaphor… go swimming the next time you are at a hotel. You’ll be itchy for days!).

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[Man, where was this shirt when I was still swimming?]

I think what I’m trying to say with this post is: if you are reading this, you need to decide whether you fall into the category of the victim or the un-sub (that’s right, I just made a Criminal Minds reference). But that reference is so poignant in this instance that I couldn’t help but utilize its purpose! As many of you may or may not know, the un-sub is in reference to the unknown-subject who is harming the subjects of its attack, or its victims. It is ‘unknown’ because more often than not, either the un-sub or the victim is unaware of what is happening. Whether through will-full ignorance or some other means, for some reason people continually let others (including their own friends) walk all over them.

Why do they do this? Well, it’s simple: people are too nice. I understand that completely. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve let people abuse my friendship and I just sit their and smile, pretending I’m being a really nice person by helping them out. But let’s be serious (and all un-sub‘s should take heed): there will eventually come a breaking point where your victim will either A) no longer exist in your life because you have brutally decapitated your friendship with that person, or B) they will simply lash out at you and give back to you 10x what they received.

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[Shemar Moore, now he most definitely is not the un-sub ;) That’s right… wink-face!]

The good news? You can easily change if you are an un-sub reading this! How? Well, speaking from experience as a guy who has burnt a few bridges in his lifetime, you can easily stop hurting people and try your damnedest to live each day with positivity both with yourself and your friends (hell, even with strangers… especially with strangers, actually). Sure, people might be wary of your intentions at first and they may even call you out, but it’s all about trust! You need to build up trusting and positive relationships with your friends… otherwise, you’re nothing but passing companions who will meet but once every few months or years and recite the repetitive exchange of: “Hey! How are you? Where’ve you been?…”. It’s been done over and over. Why would you want to live your life like that?

So there it is people. I’ve ranted about it, therefore you need to do something about it/I just changed the world for the better. Pfft, yeah right, I probably just told a few-hundred people something that they already know. But you know what? Who cares! They need to know it… and hopefully I can inspire one random person to stand up for themself and one other random person to stop being a super-mega-bag-of-dicks. That’s right, a super-mega-bag-of-dicks… my god this is one tasteful blog.

Much Lovin’,
The Chad.

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